How to Respond When Your Parent With Dementia Keeps Repeating Themselves

What’s Really Going On—And What You Can Do to Stay Calm and Connected

In this blog we discuss:  dementia repeating questions, how to respond to repetitive dementia behaviors, dementia communication tips, parent with dementia repeats stories

“You already told me that 10 times today…”

If you’ve found yourself saying this—or thinking it—you’re not alone.

One of the most common and challenging behaviors in dementia care is repetition.Your parent may:

• Ask the same question every few minutes

• Repeat a story or phrase again and again

• Forget that you just answered them

• Seem stuck on a particular topic or worry

And while you understand they can’t help it, it still gets exhausting—fast.

Let’s look at why repetition happens, how to respond in a way that helps both of you, and what practical tools you can use to reduce stress and improve communication.

Why Do People With Dementia Repeat Themselves?

Repetition is often a coping mechanism for a brain that is struggling to:

• Form new memories

• Track time or context

• Self-soothe when anxious

• Fill silence or space

Your loved one may ask the same question because:

• They forgot they already asked it

• They’re feeling insecure and need reassurance

• They’re bored, anxious, or overwhelmed

• They’re stuck in a thought loop and can’t move on

Repetition isn't a behavior to "fix"—it's a symptom to understand.

Common Phrases You Might Hear

• “What time is my appointment?” (asked every 10 minutes)

• “When are we going home?” (even if they’re home)

• “Did I take my medicine?”

• “Where’s my mother?” (even if she’s long gone)

• “Did I tell you about that time I…”

The Caregiver’s Dilemma: When Patience Wears Thin

Hearing the same thing again and again can trigger frustration, sadness, and even guilt.You may feel:

• Tired of repeating yourself

• Unsure if you should correct them

• Worried something is wrong

• Like you’re about to snap

It’s okay to admit that this part of caregiving is really hard.

Let’s walk through how to respond with grace—without losing your own sense of calm.

How to Respond When Your Parent With Dementia Keeps Repeating Themselves

✅ 1. Stay Calm and Reassuring

Even if the question is repeated 20 times, try to answer each time with the same calm tone.

🗣️ “Your appointment is at 2 p.m., we’ll go together.”🗣️ “Yes, I gave you your medicine. I’ll make a note on the counter, just in case.”

Tip: Try answering with a smile or gentle physical reassurance (like holding their hand). Emotional tone matters more than the words.

✅ 2. Write It Down Visibly

Post answers in a visible place—on a whiteboard, sticky note, or digital clock with reminders.

📝 Try:

• “It’s Thursday. We go to the doctor at 2 p.m.”

• “Yes, your medication was taken this morning.”

This gives them something to refer to without relying solely on you.

✅ 3. Redirect Gently When You Can

If repetition is driven by anxiety or fixation, redirection can help.

🎵 “Let’s go look at your photo album.”🧺 “Can you help me fold these towels?”🧠 “This reminds me of a Nest Care Card prompt! Want to do one together?”

You’re not ignoring them—you’re giving their brain something else to focus on.

✅ 4. Validate the Emotion Behind the Question

Even if the words don’t make sense, the emotion behind them is real.

💬 “It sounds like you’re worried about missing something. You’re safe, and I’m here with you.”💬 “You’ve always been so organized—it makes sense you’d want to check.”

Validation helps soothe the need behind the repetition.

✅ 5. Create a Comforting Routine

Repetition often increases when someone is bored, overstimulated, or out of routine.

Try creating a consistent rhythm to the day with:

• Morning check-ins

• Afternoon calming activities

• Evening rituals

💡 Our Nest Care Cards can be used at the same time each day to provide familiarity and connection through short, engaging prompts or movements.

What NOT to Do (Even When You’re Frustrated)

🚫 Don’t say “You already asked me that!”

🚫 Don’t argue about facts or time

🚫 Don’t ignore them completely (this increases anxiety)

🚫 Don’t take it personally—they’re not doing it on purpose

If you’re overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a breath or step away for a minute.Your wellbeing matters too.

Helpful Tools to Support Repetition

• 📝 Whiteboard notes – Daily updates, reminders, appointments

• 📅 Dementia clocks or calendars – With day, date, and time

• 🧠 Conversation Cards – Spark positive distraction and engagement

• 🧘‍♀️ Calming activities – Music, crafts, movement, sorting

• 🗂️ Printed routine sheets – Include meal times, medication, visits

• Hiring a Dementia Nurse Navigator

When your parent repeats themselves, what they’re really saying is:

“I’m confused. I’m uncertain. I need reassurance.”

By offering calm, redirecting with compassion, and using the right tools, you can reduce frustration—for both of you—and turn repetition into an opportunity for connection.