What Should I Talk About With My Loved One With Dementia

Nestcare Home Care and Private Duty Nursing
5 days ago
3 min read

Connection Isn’t Lost—It Just Needs a Softer Way In

in this blog we discuss: dementia engagement tools, senior conversation cards, Alzheimer’s daily connection, Nest Care Cards

“She just sits there. I don’t know how to reach her anymore.”

You’ve tried asking questions.You’ve tried making conversation.You’ve tried waiting in the silence.

And sometimes, it just feels like your loved one has slipped too far away to connect. You may not know what to talk about with your loved one with dementia.

But then—there’s a moment.

Maybe it’s a smile when you hum a familiar tune.Maybe it’s a soft chuckle when you mention a childhood pet.Or maybe, just maybe, it’s a sentence you didn’t expect:

“I remember that…”

These moments don’t happen by accident.They happen because someone invited them—gently, patiently, without pressure.

That’s the power of a gentle prompt.

And it’s one of the most effective tools we have in dementia care.

Why Engagement Slows Down in Dementia and What to Talk About With A Loved One With Dementia

Dementia gradually affects a person’s ability to:

Process language
Retrieve memories
Follow conversation threads
Initiate interaction

It’s not that they don’t want to connect—it’s that the brain struggles to find the words, the context, or the confidence.

This can lead to:

Withdrawal
Silence
Flat affect (no facial expression)
Resistance to social interaction

But here’s the truth:

Connection is still possible. It just needs the right door.

what to talk about with dementia conversation cards

What Are Gentle Prompts?

Gentle prompts are low-pressure conversation starters or sensory cues that don’t require memory recall, quick answers, or high engagement upfront.

They’re designed to:

✅ Spark emotional memory

✅ Invite recognition, not performance

✅ Reduce stress and confusion

✅ Build confidence in communication

And best of all, they meet your loved one exactly where they are.

How to Use Gentle Prompts to Encourage Engagement

You don’t have to be a therapist or nurse to use this strategy.You just need a few tools—and a moment of presence.

Here are a few ways to try it:

🖼️ 1. Dementia Conversation Cards

Use prompts or illustrated conversation cards (like those in the Nest Care Cards collection). Sit beside them and share an observation like:

“This one makes me think of beach days.”“I love the color of this dress.”

💡 Avoid asking: “Do you remember this?”Instead, offer something to respond to.

🎵 2. Finish-the-Lyric Games

Start singing a well-known line like:

“You are my…”Pause and see if they say “sunshine.”

Even if they don’t respond, keep the rhythm going.Music memory often survives even when language skills fade.

✍️ 3. Story-Based Prompts

Try open-ended reflections like:

“Tell me about a time you felt really proud.”“What did you love doing on weekends?”

Even a single word response or facial expression is meaningful.You’ve opened a door.

☕ 4. Routine-Based Conversations

Use familiar tasks like folding laundry or stirring tea as opportunities.Say:

“You always made the best tea.”“These towels remind me of your laundry days.”

Linking conversation to hands-on activity makes it less intimidating.

Why This Works (Even When It Seems Like It Doesn’t)

You may not always get an answer.But you’ll often get:

A shift in posture
A softening in the eyes
A shared glance
A feeling of connection—even if it’s silent

These moments may be small, but they’re everything.

How the Nest Care Conversation Cards Can Help

We designed the Conversation Card Deck in the Nest Care Cards collection specifically to:

✔️ Reduce pressure on the caregiver

✔️ Offer calm, no-wrong-answer prompts

✔️ Encourage expression across all stages of dementia

✔️ Use images, emotions, and sensory themes to guide gentle connection

Whether your loved one is chatty or mostly nonverbal, these cards help you show up with intention—and leave behind the guilt of not knowing what to say.

💬 What Caregivers Are Saying:

“We don’t talk much anymore. But when I pull out the card about pets, he always lights up. Just one smile makes my whole day.”— Naomi G., Spouse and Caregiver

“The silence used to scare me. Now I sit beside her, show her a card, and just talk gently. Sometimes she says nothing. But she’s calmer. I am too.”— Kevin R., Son & Primary Care Partner