9 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Caring for Someone With Dementia

Small Shifts That Prevent Big Stress for You and Your Loved One

In this blog we will discuss dementia caregiving tips, what not to do dementia, avoid dementia triggers, and dementia mistakes to avoid

“I thought I was helping… but it just made things worse.”

If you’ve ever tried to correct, convince, or calm your loved one with dementia—and it backfired—you’re not alone.

Dementia caregiving doesn’t come with a manual. And most of us learn through trial, error, and a whole lot of emotion.

The good news?A few key mindset shifts can make your role easier, reduce their agitation, and bring back moments of calm and connection.

Let’s walk through the 9 most common dementia caregiving mistakes to avoid, and what to try instead.

🚫 1. Trying to Argue With or Correct Them

Why It Backfires:

Logic doesn’t work the same way with dementia. Correcting them often leads to confusion, embarrassment, or agitation.

Try Instead:

Redirect gently.💬 “That’s one way to remember it. Let’s go look at your photo album.”💬 “You’re right—this place does feel different today. Let’s sit for a bit.”

Your goal isn’t accuracy. It’s emotional comfort.

🚫 2. Asking Open-Ended or Complex Questions

Why It Backfires:

Questions like “What do you want for lunch?” or “What did you do today?” can feel overwhelming or frustrating when processing and memory are impaired.

Try Instead:

Offer simple choices or cues.💬 “Would you like soup or a sandwich?”💬 “Let’s go for our usual walk now.”

Reduce mental load. Give their brain an easier path.

🚫 3. Speaking Too Fast or Using Long Explanations

Why It Backfires:

The brain with dementia processes slower. Long sentences and fast speech get lost—or increase anxiety.

Try Instead:

• Speak slowly and clearly

• Use short phrases

• Use visuals or gestures

Less words, more presence.

🚫 4. Changing the Environment Without Warning

Why It Backfires:

Moving furniture, changing routines, or even switching TV channels abruptly can cause confusion and disorientation.

Try Instead:

Introduce changes gradually and explain with reassurance.💬 “I moved this closer to your chair so it’s easier to reach.”💬 “We’re going to try a new blanket today—it’s softer.”

Familiarity = safety.

🚫 5. Ignoring Triggers That Lead to Outbursts

Why It Backfires:

What seems small to you—a loud noise, a glare from a window, a crowded room—can feel overwhelming to someone with dementia.

Try Instead:

Track behaviors and patterns.

• Does 4 p.m. always lead to agitation?

• Do mirrors cause fear?

• Does the TV feel too loud?

Once you identify triggers, you can adjust the environment or introduce calming routines.

🚫 6. Rushing Through Basic Tasks

Why It Backfires:

Bathing, dressing, or toileting can feel vulnerable. When rushed, they may resist or become aggressive—not out of spite, but fear.

Try Instead:

Slow down. Narrate what you’re doing. Offer control.💬 “You can hold this washcloth while I help with your arm.”💬 “Let’s try this shirt today. You tell me when you’re ready.”

Dignity over speed.

🚫 7. Focusing Only on Tasks—Not Connection

Why It Backfires:

Caregiving can become all about checklists—meals, meds, hygiene. But your loved one still craves emotional connection.

Try Instead:

Take 5 minutes just to sit, talk, or share a moment.Use Nest Care Cards to spark a memory, a story, or a laugh.

Even brief connection can calm both of you.

🚫 8. Assuming They’re “Not There Anymore”

Why It Backfires:

Even in later stages, people with dementia still experience emotion, presence, and relationship—even if they can’t show it the way they used to.

Try Instead:

Speak to them with respect. Include them in decisions.Hold their hand. Play their favorite music. Smile.

The person you love is still there—just in a different form.

🚫 9. Doing It All Alone

Why It Backfires:

Caregiver stress is real. And without support, mistakes happen more often—not because you don’t care, but because you’re human.

Try Instead:

• Accept help when it’s offered

• Use tools like Nest Care Cards to make your days easier

• Bring in part-time support with NEST Carelink™ nurse visits

• Join a local or online support group

Care for yourself, too. It’s not selfish—it’s essential.

Dementia caregiving is a journey filled with love, frustration, learning, and grace.

By avoiding these common mistakes and replacing them with compassion-first strategies, you’ll create a calmer environment, reduce behaviors, and reconnect with your loved one—even on the hard days.